Naruto Ultimate Plushie
by ZevTheSkittleDragon
Summary: Naruto is being chased as usual, He skillfully avoids a Psychotic Jounin. the crowd do not and the results cause Naruto to get a friend and grow all furry and also CUTE AND FLUFFY! How does this work out ? Come find out NaruxAnko NaruX? NaruX?
1. Chapter 1

**Quick note guys, this will be AU and I probably WILL NOT update often this will be a once in a while kinda thing okay? I don't want like 30 messages saying "WHERES THE NEXT UPDATE RAAAAAAA" and shit like that Okay? Good now on wards to hilarity. **

**Oh quick note; I DONT OWN NARUTO. THAT LUCKY HONOR IS KISHIMOTO'S THE LUCKY BASTA-**

**Naruto; Ultimate Plushie**

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8 year old Naruto Uzumaki was confused... walking around Konoha in a orange monstrosity of clothing... a Bright. Orange. Jumpsuit. Normally he would tell the Sandaime who would help Naruto... But Alas he couldn't go to the Hokage for every single thing, besides the Jumpsuit was sturdy enough for his average every day life right ?

Naruto was always a lonely boy, being an Orphan with no one to look after him, he was not at the best his body could be. He was Malnourished... short due to lack of required minerals and vitamins from decent food... oh yeah... Naruto pretty much lives off ramen... Did I forget to mention that ?

Naruto was walking around happily... or so everyone thought, beneath the happy smile was a miserable child. No one could really tell unless they used masks like his themselves. He was miserable for so many reasons it was not even funny. He had no parents, he was hated for god knows what, people beat him for fun and sport, he was over priced for rancid or expired goods or forced to pay premium prices for things that would normally cost MUCH less.

Naruto's thoughts were broken after a drunken man threw him to the ground and proceeded to try and stamp on him. "Tried" being the key word, As soon as naruto hit the ground he rolled and started running before the man could grab him. Not that that stopped the giant ass freakin crowd that showed up trying to "Purge Konoha of the Demon Scum" throwing just about everything they had. Bricks, kunai, the occasional plate when they were getting desperate. Luckily there were no Shinobi in the crowd...

"**KATON: Goukayuu No Jutsu"**

'Fuck...' Naruto thought as he threw himself to the side barely dodging the roaring ball of flames that kept on going and dissipating on hitting the wall. Naruto didn't even bother to look back he held his arms behind him as he ran anyway... so he flipped them off. Hearing several shouts of "Demon" and "scum" among others he smirked before running around the corner and around a beige coloured coat.

The Crowd... they were not so lucky. They knocked the person as they ran causing several delicious skewers of Dango to falling to the ground. EVERYONE on the street stopped at the level of blood lust and killing intent leaking out of the person who dropped their food. The Crowd and the Young Demon container turned around to see the last person you ever wanted to drop there food... Anko Mitarashi... Tokubetsu Jounin. The "Snake Whore" of Konoha, Garbed in her beige trench coat orange miniskirt, fishnet body skirt, Sandals. The woman's hair was purple in a pony tail and her eyes promised all sorts of vicious and painful tortures. there was quite simply one particular rule when dealing with Anko Mitarashi You do not make her drop her dango. EVER.

Resigned to his fate Naruto looked down at the ground and sighed... it was going so well... he dodged the crowd, the freaking fireball and the woman herself... stupid crowd ruining everything!

Anko was currently thinking which ones were responsible for her loss of Dango... currently just assumed all of them were... but that was not the case, they had the Orange Prankster; Naruto Uzumaki with them... who was if possible even more hated than herself. Anko lifter her sleeves saying in a cold voice that promised unholy amounts of pain "**Sen'eijashu"** As cobra's leapt from her sleeves ensnaring the crowd who seemed literally Terrified at this point, everybody knew what Anko did when she lost her Dango...

Naruto however was spared the constriction of the snakes because of luck ? Skill ? Good-looks ? Naruto cautiously moved backwards keeping his eyes on the Crazed Psychopath. It was not to be, as he moved backwards he snapped a twig... of all the cliché things to step on... a twig.

Anko's eyes immediately locked on the young Orange Monstrosity-wearing boy. She smirked before shooting out an extra snake at the boy.

Naruto tried to dodge the snake... he really did... he was close to but it wasn't to be as the snake wrapped around his leg and dragged him over to the crazed jounin. At this point Naruto was thinking of all things in his mind that could get him out of a beating and or Poisoning. He could buy more dango ? That would leave him with no money but it was better than torture she would no doubt inflict.

"**Anbu**" she paused as 2 jumped down. Weasel and Hawk-masked ANBU looked at her expectantly "Escort the Civilians to Ibiki tell him that they tried to attack the Gaki" (Gaki = Brat)

The ANBU nodded before Weasel cast a Genjutsu on the civilians knocking them out, though one could be certain they had looks of terror before passing out... Weasel was a mean guy.

Naruto was still looking at Anko fearfully he may not have spilled her Dango purposely but she had NEVER spared someone involved with spilling her dango... Ever. Naruto's thoughts were cut off as she picked him up and set him on his feet. Then Hitting him on the head... hard.

"Ittai!" (OW!)

"Look Gaki. Your replacing my Dango Kay? Your Fault those Bastards knocked them over"

Naruto looked at her like she was Insane... probably because she was "Your Insane, Im not buying anyth-"

Naruto would have continued his little speech but a Kunai was now at a very unfortunate place threatening to stab him there. Naruto whimpered looking down before nodding and sighing in relief when the Kunai was removed.

"Good Gaki" Anko said chuckling and ruffling her hair, which he sent her a glare in return... which seemed to Amuse her. She dragged him across to her favourite store for Dango which he resented but he could not really do much (the dragging not the Dango).

Upon Entering the store the owner threw a glare at the boy and was about to say something before Anko stopped him... with her unrestrained killing intent. He dumbly shut his mouth and ignored Naruto... hoping if he ignored it, it would go away.

Anko dragged him over to her specially reserved Table... as in no one used it because she did. Often unleashing her killing intent on anyone who tried to come close to do anything to Naruto.

Needless to say that the meal was uneventful until another Shinobi showed up. A woman wearing bandages as clothing, dark coloured hair and bright red eyes. She was drop dead gorgeous and casually strolled over to the table scooting down next to Naruto who moved closed to Anko... he had assumed that the strange lady could be trusted.

"Anko, who is your little friend, isn't he a little young for you?" she said smirking as she noticed Anko spluttering her Sake and Dango, a small blush on her face. And as quick as it appeared it was gone Anko smiling maliciously as she said back "Well Nai-chan, The little Gaki is Konoha's Resident prankster Uzumaki Naruto, Aintcha Gaki ?"

Naruto nodded saying "I was getting chased and the crowd made Anko-chan drop her Dango" not catching Kurenai's smirk and Anko's small blush again. Shrugging it off Naruto decided he liked Kurenai, she didn't glare at him with hate or fear or calling him a demon... yet as long as Anko trusted her he would to. Anko quickly added "Gaki this is Yuuhi Kurenai, Konoha's Genjutsu Mistress and leader of the Anti-Pevert Club"

"Anti-Pervert Club?" Naruto asked confused... there were'nt that many perverts were there...? If only he knew.

"It's a group we Kunoichi made incase anyone tried to give us shit or abuse us because we are women... so quite simply if someone does then our club gets together and goes a' hunting" Anko said smirking in memory of torturing those perverts.

**(-A Few Hours Later-)**

Naruto was watching a completely wasted Anko dancing on her table screaming about Dango, Snakes and Perverts... and sometimes Perverts who were snakes. Kurenai had gone half an hour ago and Naruto had to pay for a lot of Anko's thrown sake bottles and plates... on top of the mountain of dango... it left with NO money at all. Good thing he got his stipend tomorrow but still.

Naruto watched as Anko kicked the door of the bar open and strode out of the bar, Naruto not liking her odds of getting home, followed her... until she got to an alley and stumbled, then he had to start carrying her around... as best he could her feet were still dragging but better than her head...

Then he heard a voice that stopped Naruto from walking "Hand her over Demon and we won't hurt you...Much" Naurto sighed before sprinting away at speeds a civilian quite simply couldn't keep up with. He had been hiding his speed quite simply because no doubt it would attract more shinobi, but with it being so late it wouldn't matter that much.

However it was not to be, his pre-emptive flight was ended when he was kicked hard in the face sending him sprawling to the floor in a heap. Naruto rolled over and tried to get back up when he got thrown into the wall and fell unconcious... were time seemed to slow down as the Shinobi advanced towards Anko.

'Leave her alone! Leave her alone! **LEAVE HER ALONE!'** Anko had been the first person to ever show him friendship... even if he did have to pay for it, he'd had a fun day, he had made a friend and this trash of a shinobi was going to destroy that? FUCK THAT.

The Uzumaki Naruto of the past was gone, in his place was a blue furry fluffy Koala like creature that had razor sharp teeth. His eyes were the worst though... pitch black as if he had no pupil almost. and was about the same size of a toddler... but he did'nt care about that, he was already on the shinobi throwing sloppy slashes from his razor sharp claws, intending to rip the shinobi into tiny tiny pieces for trying to harm his friend.

The Shinobi was 2 seconds from scoring then a blue blur just appeared infront of him kicking the ever loving hell out him 'WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ? THE DEMON CANT DO THIS. WHO THE HELL IS THIS' The Shinobi was about to run when he felt a fist somewhat reminiscant of Tsunade of the Sannin in strength... or what felt like it. Rocket straight into his stomach and send him flying into the nearby wall. The force of impact created a large noise and knocked the shinobi out...

Naruto was about to pick Anko up again when an ANBU popped up with several others and the Hokage, 'Ojii-san is here... good now I can rest...' Which were his last thoughts before collapsing into unconsciousness. The Hokage took one look at the scene and instantly said "Take Naruto-kun and Anko-chan to my office. Tell no one of this and do not be seen"

The ANBU nodded. A Weasel masked ANBU was about to Naruto up when a Purple blur grabbed him in all his fluffy-ness and was holding him a little too tightly to be considered "Carrying". Weasel chuckled once at Neko's Behaviour before grabbing Anko and holding her Bridal style shunshined sealessly into the Hokage's office, Where Neko was already sat in the office stroking her new fluffy friend.

Weasel set Anko down on the couch before the Hokage appeared and sat down sighing at the form of Naruto... this was an odd coincidence but it was not unheard of for bloodlines to show up at stressful times. But the nature of the Bloodline would probably cause the Council to throw a fit... claiming it was the Kyuubi's power... not that the Kyuubi's power was present, and even if it was they would need a Unanimous voting and due to the Nara, Inazuka, Aburame, Yamanaka and Akamichi they wouldn't get it. The clan heads were very respectful of The Yondaimes wish... or at least. Those ones were...

Sighing he muttered under his breath "I am too hold for this shit" getting a round of chuckles from the ANBU.

**So guys what did you think ? And yes he can turn into Stitch. No he wont have the Density and weakness to water, Maybe he will get the super strength I am not sure yet. And he will be the only character that is not an OC or Cannon that is present by the way. Im not too sure on how things will progress yet but hopefully my friend will help me with that. Also some helpful tips were deposited by a friend of mine named "Crofty666" No you dont get his name so Nyah.**


	2. Koala's and Vixens

**So... Meega Nala Quiesta ? Oh Yeah, I don't own naruto if I did it would be much more awesome! And he'd finally get laid -.- stupid kishimoto... Bastar-**

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Naruto regained consciousness slowly, he had a small headache and was certain someone left the water running or something because he could hear the dripping... it was driving him up the wall, around the bend and down the street. He was getting more and more irritated as the water continued... He just wanted to sleep god dammit! Just as he was about to get up, he felt his body feeling differently. He seemed... furrier than normal... and his ears felt weird, they were somewhere different than were they were supposed to be. Feeling his hands he noted the somewhat claw like nails that was no doubt the cause of his little slashing spree the night before. Naruto was about to get up when he heard a quiet sob, Instantly snapping his head up to see the cause of the sound he found a pretty-ish girl behind a cage.

Naruto was freaking out when he saw a giant circular room with a cage at one side and opposite it was what appeared to be 3 or 4 doors. One was labelled "Memories". Another was Labelled "DNA" The third door was labelled "Stitch"... Stitch ? Was that his new form or something ?. He ignored that door for now. The last door was labelled "Brain" probably something to do with intelligence. He sighed staring at the doors for a while wondering what to do.

On the one hand he could go through the doors and explore which admittedly for his odd body felt like a fantastic idea... Pushing those thoughts aside for now he drew his attention to the doors again and decided to go through the Memories door... after all memories couldn't be that bad right ? Even if they were someone else's. Not that he knew where in the hell he was, He noted there was a stream below him as he entered the room. He was standing on a platform above the stream with a stone-like bridge crossing over to a relatively decently large area. He noted that there was a Console in the middle of the bridge.

Upon reaching the console he noted that the Memories were sorted into different categories. Mostly in decades, so it was broken down in the following list. From the 1~10 list there were a lot of memories but what intrigued Naruto was the fact that none of the other categories had any memories... so that meant they were the same age as Naruto. The young blonde decided to tap the 1~10 category and was surprised when it was broke into several other categories. It turned into about 10 or so categories so he clicked on the category labelled "happy" and was instantly thrown into a flashback.

(Mean Author Style; Flashback No Jutsu!)

_A 5 year old Naruto was running around the village after pulling several pranks and was out running Shinobi and Civilians alike, He was smirking he had just effectively glitter cannoned 10% of the civilians today and several Shinobi. Naruto was laughing as he ran before jumping onto the rooftops. He heard several Shinobi swear behind him before he continued running again, He was obviously well versed in traversing the village in this fashion, knowing exactly which distances he could make and he he could not make without chakra. Not that anybody had bothered to teach him anything about chakra._

_Naruto heard them gaining so he dropped some smoke grenades of his own devising. They were very very large area of effect smoke bombs, meaning to travel on the wind and cause more trouble. But that didn't matter at this point it was more the point that the Shinobi couldn't catch what they couldn't see. So he leapt down from the roofs and leapt into a dumpster, However he was not doing this to hide, he did this because he had secretly connected several dumpsters via tunnels and nobody moved the dumpsters. Ever. _

_So he tunnelled through the trash and entering his tunnel he turned and to his sheer delight he saw the Shinobi trying there damnedest trying to catch him and failing horribly. Smirking he threw another of his industrial sized smoke bombs... into the tunnel, soon the sounds of coughing and swearing was heard... not that Naruto was paying attention the 5 year old trouble maker had already jumped out of the connecting Dumpsters and had ran. _

_To his Annoyance he discovered the Shinobi were not so easily swayed, deciding to be sadistic he ran down "His" alley. Now their were two things you simply did not do when chasing Uzumaki Naruto, One would be blindly rushing after him down an alleyway. Several Shinobi found this out to there cause when they were bombarded by traps he had set previously. The second was trying to chase him in the first place. The young boy GOT OFF ON IT. He Thrived on it, he relished the attention and thus did outrageous stunts more often. Had no one paid attention he might have not been playing pranks... but alas too late now._

_The Shinobi were getting pissed. They were not the arrogant, Ignorant morons who thought he was the demon. They had simply believed the rumours of his evasion skills were fabricated... until today that was. As they ran they noticed an Alley they winced at the implications. They had heard not to follow him through alleyways. But it was a risk they were willing to take to catch the young little bas- I mean child. _

_The Shinobi had ran past a dumpster and it exploded, flinging what seemed to be any amount of liquids all over the god damn alleyway. Ramen Broth, Milk, Orange Juice, Barbecue Sauce, and Several other various liquids being amongst them. The mixture had fermented after a while but not far enough for anyone to smell the foul concoction. The Shinobi had been launched into the wall of the alleyway hard enough to create 3 craters from there bodies and then hit by that foul concoction of liquids..._

_Naruto had apologized for that one later... then ran away really quickly._

(_Nice Author Style; Flash Back No Jutsu Kai! ((Release))_

Naruto immediately understood where he was... he was in his mind... more specifically his memory area... if that was true... why the hell was that girl in here?. That being on his mind he walked back out of the door and into the large chamber with the girl who was sobbing none too quietly now. Naruto was immediately walking towards him... he stopped as soon as he hit the cell bars, he wasn't sure if he should continue through the bars...

The open sobbing continued and made his decision for him, he couldn't leave the girl there just crying when he could try to help... right ? He wrapped his arms around the girls shoulders and said "It's ok... your not alone" He noticed the girl stiffen in his shoulders before breaking down again. He merely held her while she sobbed...

Naruto just looked her over and was surprised about what he found, the girl was roughly his age give or take a year. She had long read hair that was falling to the small of her back. She had large breasts for her age, about a B-cup. And considering she was 8 or so... that's pretty good. She had purple Iris's in her eyes, which surprised him. Naruto noticed the most astounding thing about her... last. As usual, He saw she had red fox ears on the top of her head and 9 red tails flowing from the tail of her spine.

She was clothed in a pair of black pants and a sleeveless Chinese style shirt (like tenten... but not pink) that was black with a red trim. It was clear she wasn't human... but then again the villagers didn't think he was human either and he had effectively turned into a bright blue Koala. While she sobbed Naruto was rubbing her back trying his best comfort the poor girl... until something happened.

"**Why..."**

"Why what ?" Naruto replied confused... not understanding who he was speaking to or why she was asking him what he was doing... he thought it was pretty obvious.

"**Why are you trying to comfort me... I don't deserve it, not after what I have done"**

"I... I don't know. But I can't stand seeing girls cry, especially when their in my head and I don't know WHY their in my head"

"**I guess I'll explain but do not interrupt me until the very end okay?"**Naruto nodded waiting for her to continue "**My Name is Nix, however among your kind I have another name... I am the Kyuubi No Kitsune, the 9 tailed fox demon. I am the one who attacked Konohagakure 8 years ago and I ruined your life and my own because of it. The reason for my attack... is less than adequate... I was...drunk"**

"You... were... Drunk...?"

"**Absolutely hammered... Me and some of the lesser demons along with Gobi and Yonbi... threw a party, I drunk more than my weight in Sake and probably ate more than anybody else there to. Gobi and Yonbi thought they could take me on in there drunken state which they probably could... before Gobi and Yonbi went off to destroy other hidden villages... which resulted in getting sealed away... Like myself. So... the reasoning behind attacking the villages was simple really... "who ever could destroy a hidden village first would be the strongest bijuu" Naturally I was annoyed that they thought they were stronger than myself... so I kinda agreed and well... your Yondaime sealed me away into you."**

"I thought you were meant to be smart..." Naruto replied shaking his head at the Kyuubi's stupidity... getting hammered... then going to attack the strongest hidden village is not something you do lightly... or if you were smart... which these Bijuu seemed to be until the previously mentioned getting hammered then getting drunk.

"**So... now you know, I am the reason your hated. I am the reason you were attacked, bruised, beaten, stabbed, crucified, poisoned, broken and the rest... I am sorry for that"**

"I forgive you" Naruto hugged Nix again, not realising that he had released her when she had mentioned being the Kyuubi. "It's not like you attacked out of sheer boredom.. you were drunk... people do stupid stuff when there drunk..."

"**Thanks kit... I didn't think you were going to be so... empathetic towards me"** Kyuubi replied happy that she was in his arms and he didn't hold a grudge against her for what happened.

"I can't hate someone inside my own head... I would go crazy arguing with you" he smirked before patting her on the head and asking "So... now that that is out of the way" he was clearing his throat here "WHY THE HELL AM I BLUE AND LOOK LIKE A KOALA" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Irritated about why he was cute and fluffy... it wasn't bad but it certainly wouldn't help his ninja career. Shinobi didn't walk around as Koala's... and if he tried to go back to class like this... he shuddered to think what would happen.

"**You have a bloodline kit, this ones name is Stitch if the door is any indication... though I would suggest saying it doesn't have a name and the the form itself is named Stitch"**Nix suggested smirking at his outburst. "**Or you could change the name of the bloodline to something with a little more respectability" **

Naruto Nodded before jumping out of the cage and said "Nix was good being here and all but how do I get out?"

"**You should be able to go if you think of leaving and closing your eyes... or thinking of someone in the outside world"** Nix replied not sad that her vessel was leaving her at this point but it was better than being completely alone until his life needed saving for him to find her.

(**-The Sandaime Hokage's Office-)**

The Hokage was pissed. Not just pissed, but Royally pissed off the council had heard about what Naruto had done to protect Anko and the damage he had done to the Shinobi had been severe, several of his clumsy slashes had hit nerve endings and various other areas that he were lucky were still attached...Genitalia included. Especially after Kurenai found out her friend had almost been raped... she and her "Anti-Pervert Club" had literally beaten the ever loving piss out of him... then Ibiki showed up...

The man was crying and begging for death before the end. By the end of the torture he had had his genitalia permanently damaged via rapid stomping and slashing, mostly due to a purple haired kunoichi with a sword and a little from Hana Inazuka. The rest of the females had pretty much just kicked him and punched him in the everywhere. Kurenai had far far harsher, she had set a Genjutsu straight from the gates of hell itself. He had been forced to watch his family killed, his mother and sisters raped then he was forced to join in on the rape, but it wasn't finished. Then his previously dead family members rose up and started torturing him with their fists and miraculously appearing weapons.

Ibiki had taken a direct vacation from his job.. not from the cells or though... so when the man was brought in. Ibiki had him all to himself for 2 weeks... it had only been 1 day when Ibiki was finished and the man was begging for death. But as horrible as it was the Hokage couldn't help but feel bad for what the man and what would follow should Anko wake up and understand what he had tried to do.

The (Civilian) had DEMANDED that Naruto be killed for what he had done, When the Hokage asked why he was outraged to hear that they were trying to say that NARUTO was about to rape Anko when the Shinobi showed up and valiantly fought the "demon brat" but to no avail.

The Hokage Snapped, something inside him that had kept him docile for all these years was broken. He essentially roared at them with several brutal and horrifying threats for lying to him and then sent them to Inoichi Yamanaka... who had been in the room at the time for mental torture. He explained in a not too polite manner that if they were caught bullshitting him again, he would kill them. Then there families. Then anybody else who had agreed with what they had done.

Of course the civilians were terrified after that, the "Professor" as he was called was gone, in his place was the man that made enemy Shinobi tremble in fear and surrender at the sound of his name "Kami No Shinobi" (God of Shinobi). He was back and with a vengeance. It was clear he had not honoured the Yondaimes wishes and allowed the trash of his village to essentially dilute his sacrifice by acting in the way they had. Needless to say it was going to stop and it was going to stop now.

So after his immediate and horrifying... "declaration" the civilians were going to ease up on the boy if they knew what was good for them. The Sandaime sighed... he really was getting too old for this shit. He had 3 promising candidates to replace him; Jiraiya of the Sannin, Argue-ably he was the strongest of the 3, he could summon toads, he was powerful and he had the Rasengan amongst his vast knowledge of Nin, Gen and Taijustu. The second was Tsunade of the Sannin, Argue-ably the second strongest if not THE strongest if she got a clean hit on you. Her super strength was horrifying... as in shattering buildings with a single finger kind of horrifying. She was in effect the mother of modern medicine. She had left Konoha after everyone she loved and cared for save the Sandaime had died in the various wars.

the last and least favourite option; Kakashi Hatake he was in effect the strongest in the village when you could get him to fight seriously, known to have copied over 1000 Nin and Genjutsu. Then there was his Sharingan the Dojutsu of the Uchiha clan. If you managed to get him to reveal his Sharingan he considered you a threat and that was something you didn't get to walk away from often.

Sighing and pushing aside his retirement plans he focused back on his surrogate grandson who was being cuddled by Neko... apprently Neko liked Naruto's new look... the Sandaime could almost immediately see problems with it... if the more "fan-girly" girls saw this... no doubt he would have a fan-club to rival that of Konoha's "Last Loyal" Uchiha.

Of course all these thoughts went out the window when Naruto decided to wake up.

"Hey Oji-san... how long have I been out?" Naruto said or at least tried to but all that came out was a bit of a growl... then he realised and facepalmed... facepawed. He then got out of Neko's arms which was a battle in of itself. He then snatched a pen and paper from the hokage's desk before handing it to the sandaime trying and failing to smirk in his chibi-koala form.

"You've been unconscious for roughly 12 hours, What you did Naruto was good. I am proud of you, you could have ran away and left Anko to her fate but you fought and somehow turned into a Chibi-Koala, you may have a few fan-girls after this if they see you" The Sandaime Replied before continuing "Naruto as I see it you have earned a reward... if you need anything let me know and I'll get it for you if I can"

Naruto pondered it for a moment before writing " I keep failing the Bunshin No jutsu Oji-san can you help me with it ?" to his surprise the Sandaime chuckled before nodding. The sandaime then replied "Naruto the problem with your bunshin is that you have too much chakra to use it properly. Its not a problem of control either, even with Jounin level control I doubt you could use the Bunshin. Mainly because at that point there are better versions of the clone available which are used more. One of the techniques I'm giving you to fix it is the "Kage Bunshin No Jutsu" Normally I wouldn't dare hand over this Jutsu an academy student who hasn't graduated but due to your huge chakra reserves it shouldn't be a problem."

"You said One of the techniques are you giving me more than one?" Naruto Wrote hopefully. The Sandaime chuckled in response and said "Yes Naruto, after going through your Academy records I saw you have effectively no style to it. Absolutely none. The teacher I asked said it was basically Brawling... that will not do for a Shinobi. So I'm giving you a very dangerous and painful Taijutsu Style. It's called the Piercing Fist, The Hyuuga style "Gentle Fist" was effectively based off of this style and then improved with their Dojutsu. Another technique im giving you is the Kage Shuriken and Kunai scrolls. Its effectively the Kage Bunshin but with thrown weapons... one weapon could become ten, ten could become a hundred. It is a very deadly move when used correctly. Which is why I am FORBIDDING you from using it on your classmates Naruto. They may laugh at you but if you start throwing wall's of steel at people they are going to get hurt and that will look bad for me understand ?"

Naruto nodded he was a bit put out he couldn't use two of the three jutsu he was getting from the Hokage however he understood the reasoning behind it. If he started hurting his classmates with them, it wouldn't look good for the Hokage who had given him those techniques. However the fact he was getting a Taijutsu style and 3 jutsu from the old man when all he asked for was a solution to his cloning problem he was pretty happy. The Sandaime then said "I'll show you the scrolls when your not a Koala... if people start wondering why theres a Koala running around with 4 scrolls they may not be too pleased."

Naruto nodded before jumping onto Neko's lap and curled up again going back to sleep. He had to ask Nix something... plus he was tired.

(**-Mindscape-)**

Naruto awoke in the same position as before waved once to Nix before saying "I know I'm cute and fluffy in this form but how do I get out of it? I need to so I can go back to the academy and walk around konoha" Naruto smirked at the idea of him running around Konoha as a koala... with a kick ass staff-sword-thing... wait where did that come from ? He shook his head as he heard Nix's response

"**the only thing I could think of is using Chakra and saying "Kai" as thats like a universal release phrase and may release the transformation... or you may have to think about changing to your Human form... it may work like that. If that fails then I suggest that you go into the room labelled "Stitch" and look around in there"** Nix said before waiting for the results of her idea's.

Naruto then said "KAI" after a burst of chakra there was... no change... he sighed before going to the more annoying one and thought about his human form. Then a weird sensation gripped him... it was like having his bones shoot up to the normal human length, then followed by everything else... it didn't hurt for some reason but It felt like he was itchy all over, even on his teeth for god sake. After a few seconds the feeling died down and he was back to his human form... luckily he seemed to have grown a little bit... not enough for everybody to notice, only those who really knew and paid attention to Naruto would realise.

Naruto shouted to Nix "Your a Genius! I'll be back tonight I'm going to go bribe the old man into getting me some Ramen"

Nix facepalmed before muttering about stupid blondes and their stupid obsessions.

Somewhere in Kumogakure Omoi Sneezed. Karui his blunt dark skinned with fire-like red heard said "Whats up Omoi ? You think your coming down with a cold?" she said smirking knowing he would freak out and over analyse the situation and probably lock him self in his house for a week.

Omoi glared at her before continuing along to Kirabi-sensei.

Some where in Iwa a blond sneezed before shouting out extremely loudly "ART IS A BANG, KATSU!" as the Tsuchikage's tower exploded and Deidara fled on **her** clay bird to parts unknown.

(-**Hokage Tower, Konoha, Fire country-)**

Naruto swiftly changed as he rose again smirking at Neko who now didn't want to hold him so much. He made a symbol of being mock hurt before she bopped him on the head and dissapeared into hiding as most ANBU do. "So Oji-san where did Anko-chan go?"

The Sandaime had his face buried in a little orange book for some reason and was giggling perversely every couple of minutes. Naruto sighed before shouting it. The Sandaime dropped his book and looked everywhere before his eyes locked onto Naruto who was now in his human form again. "Sorry Naruto I was caught up in...my book... How about this, if you don't tell anyone I read these books how about Treat you to ramen and get you some new clothes?"

"Thanks Oji-san your the best Grandpa ever!" Naruto said happily before both started walking around the village going to the Infamous Ichiraku Ramen stand.

Upon Arriving Teuchi and his Daughter Ayame responded with the usual greeting for civilians to the Hokage saying "Lord/Hokage-Sama" The Sandaime merely nodded his head and ordered a large bowl of Miso ramen and a saucer of Sake.

Naruto... on the other hand ordered 10 bowls of Miso and copped out on his 13th bowl... the last 3 being veggie Ramen by demand of the Hokage saying too much of any one flavour spoils the taste. Naruto agreed to it of course... one did not simply deny the Hokage.

It was during a conversation with Ayame about he had been where two distinctly feminine arms wrapped around him and two squishy objects were gently nudging his head... he knew instantly who this was. NO ONE just up and Hugged the demon brat of Konoha with out repercussions. Naruto just calmly said "Hey Hebi-chan"[1] Naruto smirked as he felt the arms tense ever so slightly before relaxing again.

"What's up Gaki ? I heard you stopped me from being Abused last night... Any _Ulterior_ Motives for that ?" She said Ulterior seductively as she was trying to get him back for the hebi-chan comment. Naruto upon realising what she meant shook his head heavily and hid his blush as best he could. Only the Cook Teuchi did not see the blush.

"N-n-no what the hells wrong with you!" he stuttered out embarrassed and also a little angry that some one would assume his friendship came with a price.

"nothing Gaki... just wanted to give you my _thanks, for saving me. I'll be sure to repay you_" she said again sinking into that seductive tone. Causing a bigger blush to appear on his face before he managed to fight it down.

"Anyway Naruto-kun I have to return to the tower to do **Paperwork****" **he spat the word Paperwork with venom as if it was his most hated opponent... mainly because it was.

"So Wonder-Gaki anything I can do to help you for what you did?" Anko said sitting next to him... not being seductive this time so Naruto assumed she had meant was she said. Naruto then replied "Yes actually... you could help me get better clothing than this evil jumpsuit and train me to be a Shinobi." He said not ever breaking conversation with Ayame as he continued to talk about his day and recent events and how he was going to kick "Sasuke-teme's ass" when he got back.

"Hm... I'm assuming the shop keepers throw you out?" Anko said casually, she knew what it was like as she had endured the exact same thing on numerous occasions often being called a "Snake-whore" afterwords.

"Yes. I have a method of picking the clothes I want while you pay for them with my money but you have to keep it a secret okay ?" Naruto asked almost pleading with the Tokubetsu Jounin.

"Sure sure Gaki your secret whatever it is, is safe with me" Anko replied she was curious as to what this secret was that he could abuse to get what he needed as long as she bought the stuff for him.

Then Naruto when through the oddest of sensations again, this time it felt like his bones were being put through a washing machine until they shrunk... then his skin and organs and everything else followed turning him into the fluffy and cute blue Koala. What he didn't expect was the 2 women's reactions. Anko immediately scooped him and started playing with her new friend like he was a toy. She was saying to him "Who's a good gaki ? You are, Yes you are!" before she crushed him against her in a bone crushing hug... had he not had really strong bones bones in this form. Ayame however had jumped over the counter itself trying to glomp him squealing "Kawaii!" after failing she soon joined Anko in crushing him in a hug. Eventually upon getting released he made a big dramatic gesture of breathing air and shaking his curled up fist at Anko.

She said nothing before scooping him up, putting him on her shoulder and saying "I'll be taking Koala-gaki here shopping then I'm going to turn him into the first Koala-shinobi ever!" she said almost skipping out of the store, it was then that Naruto put his purse which he affectionately named "Gama-chan" into Anko's pocket to which she received and whispered to him, ignoring the odd gazes "you got a weird purse you know that?" she received a poke in the cheek for her... cheek (Pun not intended).

That was when they arrived at the store that Anko trusted enough to let her in for this sort of thing. The Higurashi weapon & Shinobi Store. This place had everything for a ninja, it had rows upon rows of clothing and about 75% of the store were weapons. Naruto in his Koala form jumped down and ran off to find something not so... orange to wear, while Anko followed at her leisurely pace. Eventually she found Naruto pointing at some clothing he wanted, it was rather good for a Shinobi. A pair of black Anbu-like pants, similar black Shinobi sandals and leg wrappings; his shirt was something she found interesting. It was a black jacket that matched the pants with a dark orange trim and it had long sleeves. All in all it looked pretty good. He then pointed at a staff-sword-thing that looked interesting. She gave him a look that said "seriously?" and he nodded in response.

Anko shrugged before grabbing a few sets of clothing the Koala boy wanted and the staff-sword-thing. The Staff-sword was a master piece at its finest. It had a Jewel at the base (furthest point from the sword). The sword itself was about Anko's arm in length. The shaft it self wasn't long enough to hinder movement and it was clear with training the blade could be lethal.

To her not so much surprise the weapons girl at the counter took one look at everything before saying that it cost 32,000 Ryo which was about 3,000 less than the Gaki had. And to her astonishment she helped pay for the stuff remembering that she would have been raped had it not been for Koala-gaki. She put 16,000 Ryo towards the gear leaving the Gaki with 19,000 Ryo to do what he wanted with. The weapons girl now identified as "Tenten" handled everything then greeted them and told them to come again.

Naruto was ecstatic... he finally had clothes that wouldn't blind people when they looked at him... or that would point out 'I am here in this bush being all orange come stab me please'


	3. Training And Stalkers

**AU; So... can anyone guess where the staff-sword is from ? Oh yeah I don't own naruto D': **

**Oh and for those who wondered why I made Deidara a girl was because this is AU and I don't really see a reason for her to be a criminal really as far as I know (I don't pay much attention to people I don't like) she blew up the Tsuchikage (Iwa's Kage... I think that's how its spelt). And legged it... for some reason or another. Also any suggestions, Criticism will be completely disregarded unless you give me an idea on how to improve. For example**

"**flamer; Your stories have potential but there lacking in too many area's for me to openly enjoy the story"**

**Stuff like that will be ignored UNLESS you explain WHERE it is lacking and WHAT you think I can do to change it. There is no point in me writing this stuff for people to say its awesome and stuff. As a writer I always want to improve myself... even if this Is my first serious fanfic. (fanfic that I won't abandon anyway) Oh and I have put off several things, 1st the Kumo Incident hasn't happened yet. 2nd Nor has the Uchiha Massacre. By YET I mean these things WILL happen.**

**-Starting The Chapter-**

Naruto and Anko left the store and walked through an alley to the left of the store, Naruto was changing before he even got inside the alleyway. When he changed he jumped off of Anko's shoulder and took the staff-sword in his hands twirling it around for a bit and getting a feel for it as he walked. He also took one of the bags of clothing from Anko and his purse back as well, he walked to his apartment with Anko following. He noted that he was a little taller again... not so discreet this time and his hair style had drastically changed. Where as before it was random and all over the place, now it looked combed and fell down his back ending in points, at the sides the hair was relatively similar to the back, it went back and down before ending in points like the back, at front he had a bangs in front of his face to frame his face. He smirked at Anko's Stupefied expression and tint of pink in her cheeks.

"Like what you see Hebi-chan?" Naruto said still smirking as he walked, he knew this would get into another battle of words with Anko...which it did almost immediately.

"To be honest Gaki if you keep growing like this and things about your body keep changing the way they are you'll end up with a fan club like the Uchiha's" Anko smirked, EVERYBODY knew about Naruto's Rivalry with the Uchiha , mostly everyone knew because they called each other. The Uchiha called Naruto "Dobe" and Naruto responded with "Teme" meaning Dead-last/moron and Bastard respectively.

"Nah I'm sure they'll just laugh at me and call me before going back to there Sasuke-chan" Naruto said smirking at Anko's chuckle. It was always good to get a few laughs once in a while without resorting to pranking someone. Naruto was already working on a special prank specifically for the Hokage's Birthday, it would be sure to get a laugh or two out of the populace before he was threatened with death for degrading the Hokage's enjoyment on his birthday.

Naruto noticed the state of his apartment and sighed... the civilians had gotten in... again. Naruto noted the various sayings on the wall "Get Lost Scum!" "Leave Demon" "Bastard Fox". The list goes on. Naruto had seen this sort of work before after seeing none of his stuff was broken. It meant they had planted traps of some sort to murder him...again. Naruto held up a hand and put his new stuff down. He said "They've set up traps again wait here Anko" his voice irritated but left no room for argument.

Naruto strode into his apartment and immediately a set of 10 kunai, 20 shuriken and 30 senbon flew at him. Sighing at the obvious traps he side stepped the kunai and shuriken the senbon missing by design of the trap. The Kunai were set to fly straight at the door, the Shuriken were aimed at the sides were people would dodge and hit his wall embedding inches into his wall. The Senbon were set to hit people who would sidestep further away from the doorway so the senbon littered his walls. He picked up the Shuriken and Senbon without incident and looked around for more traps.

There were 3 more, a ring of exploding tags under his toilet seat that would explode when touched... most likely aimed to blow his ass cheeks off. He winced when he saw it and was glad he hadn't needed to use it before he checked. The second was a little better hidden, someone had lifted the floorboards and put a pressure point under the board that would swing a suspended Wakazashi down at his throat. He only managed to find this one because his door opened without a sound or difficulty. Usually his door would get stuck on the floorboard that had been fixed and getting a sound that was like listening to a cat drowning.

The Last trap was obviously a Shinobi's handiwork; it had several different Senbon launchers that were designed to get him off balance, Then it shot 3 Kunai at vital areas where they were estimated to be; Head, Heart and Jugular Vein. It was rather easy to dodge, after jumping forward onto his chest the kunai flew harmlessly over his head. Then the floorboards he was on gave out... sending him falling to the floor beneath... and the floor beneath that... all the way to the basement. Which is were razor sharp swords were gathered clearly meaning to impale him. There was nothing he could do about it and that fact terrified him.

'I can't believe I'm going to die here... there was so much I had to do in my life... this fucking sucks' Naruto thought as he plummeted to his doom. And just as he was about to be turned into Naruto-kebob a Weasel masked ANBU jumped down after him and managed to catch him JUST before he died. The ANBU had used Chakra to descend after Naruto and carried the boy back up to his apartment. Upon hitting the apartment the ANBU went back down and set several exploding tags down the shaft to the blades. Naruto by then had calmed down enough to wonder what the ANBU was doing. His eyes widened at the exploding tags, The ANBU emerged from the shaft before blowing it up, ensuring that if someone did remove or weaken the floorboards again that he would land on rubble and not swords.

Luckily though the shaft wasn't a load bearing shaft so it did little damage to the building complex itself. After fixing the floorboards for Naruto the ANBU was about to disappear when Naruto shouted "Thanks Mr... Weasel ?"

Prior to the popular belief ANBU did laugh and have personalities and the man who had saved Naruto started laughing for a bit before seeing Naruto's confusion. He sighed removing his mask revealing an Uchiha face with Onyx eye's and hair like every Uchiha. Still a little confusion showed on his face and the now discovered Uchiha said "My name is Itachi...in other words my name is Weasel... you called me Mr Weasel..."

Realisation showed on Naruto's face before nodding hugging the man as best he could before shouting "Come on in Hebi-chan". After a little grumbling was heard outside Anko entered his apartment and noted the dent marks from the Shuriken and Senbon. She chuckled when she saw Itachi... "I'm Guessing Weasel here saved your ass ?" to which Naruto nodded. After explaining the trap to Anko, One did not have to be a Shinobi to know she was pissed. The Woman was practically Leaking killing intent not that Naruto and Itachi noticed because they weren't the symbol of her wrath thus they were not needed.

After a bit Naruto offered Instant Ramen to his two guests as Itachi wasn't necessarily needed at the moment, his orders were to watch Naruto and look after him. What better way than to hang out with the kid ? It wasn't going against orders to hang out with the kid. Plus he was kinda hungry so why not eat with the kid who was offering ? After both nodded to his offer Naruto left the 3 cups of ramen on the counter after stirring them vigorously he left them to cool for a minute while he left to get changed.

He soon threw off his Orange Monstrosities and put on his clothes, putting a long sleeved fishnet shirt on under the jacket. He soon looked pretty good, all things considered. He was still pretty short but he was now taller than most of his class shy of Kiba, Shino and Sasuke-teme. Naruto walked back into the kitchen his staff-sword now hanging on his back from a clasp that was built in... man that shop thought of everything. He grabbed the now ready Ramen and handed Anko and Itachi their cups before grabbing his own and 3 pairs of chopsticks, he handed the pair of adults each a pair of chopsticks before beginning to his own ramen.

Naruto had taken it slowly eating his ramen, after all why ruin new clothes so soon ? It would be stupid to go out and buy clothes only to get it dirty after eating 1 meal with it on. He noticed Itachi and Anko reminiscing about missions and trying to top each other with things they had done. After about 30 minutes Itachi said his shift was over and he had to go, Naruto thanked him for saving him and told him to come by again soon. After that was done Naruto asked Anko where they were going to train... what she said horrified him...

The Forest of Death.

Training Ground 44.

As a general rule you NEVER go into that training ground for one very very obvious reason. The percentage of you dying in there while going in is around 77%. When he asked if she was bat shit crazy she made a gesture of pushing her pointer finger and thumb together... which meant a little bit. Naruto dead panned before asking her how she was going to train him, she tapped her nose and said if he was a good little Koala-gaki she'd give him a _present_. Which resulted in a bit of a blush and swearing. Anko had to go about an hour after Itachi so Naruto decided to go show off his Koala-ness to Konoha...big mistake.

During the day many people who paid attention would see a bright blue Koala running like hell away from girls that were squealing "Kawaii!" at the tops of there lungs. Naruto eventually lost his crowd by crawling up the wall to the roof tops. Naruto smirked as he ran away... Today was a hell of a day.

**(Yami Author Style; Flashback No Jutsu!)**

_Naruto strode around Konoha in all his bright blue fluffy-ness. Most of the girls were watching him with tilted heads thinking just where the hell the little fluffy koala had come from. Some were following it with a hint of fan-girly tendencies in there eyes... ever so slightly gaining on the little koala. One of the men shouted "The Fan girls are gaining Run you fool!" to which the little Koala did... but not in the way any one expected... he rolled up into a ball with his feet in his mouth and rolled just as fast a Shinobi could run... the fan girls kept up with the power of fan-girls. And so began the single best chase Konoha had ever seen._

_Dodging several fan girl lunges he kept rolling towards the academy knowing that the Uchiha would be out soon... he had intended to merge there fan girl crowds. He jumped over a fan girl's leg who had intended to kick him, He soon burst out of his little ball form and started running in his Chibi koala form. He soon jumped at a wall and jumped off that wall over a fence not even breaking step as he landed onto the ground he kept running and heard a crash... glancing back he winced at the fan-girls... were he had jumped and cleared the fence they had just ran through it. Naruto kept running, he went through several of his specially connected dumpsters and over some roofs but the fan girls could not be stopped. _

_Just as he was about to be caught he put out another burst of speed, leaving the fan-girls still following but they were in the dirt compared to him. Naruto eventually managed to get to the academy and saw something horrifying... the fan girls had caught Sasuke-teme by forcing him into a corner. Naruto had suffered for 1 day of it and he admitted he loved it but to be chased your entire life would suck so naruto helped the Teme out this once. He jumped down in front of the crowd and punched the wall behind Sasuke-teme, punching a massive hole into said wall and coincidentally providing an escape route. He then took his new escape route as the fan girls saw their prey escaping they charged at the duo intent on raping one and cuddling the other. _

_Now both the kids had to dodge insufferable fan girls. Naruto had an out whenever he wanted one... but Sasuke was not so lucky. Both boys now jumped rabid fan girls and Naruto decided that the chase was over for Sasuke. He Jumped and punched the ground, Sasuke having the sense he was born with jumped. The fan girls fell into the crater that had been made before glaring at the Koala with hate in there eyes that promised pain._

_Naruto ran like hell as any male who liked where there genitalia was to remain there. The Fan-girls had gone from "Rape-Uchiha" mode to "DIE YOU FUCKER" mode which meant he COULD NOT BE CAUGHT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. That being the case he used his koala nose to find the one person who would face the horde of fan girls and win... Anko, He knew it wasn't the time of day for her to be training so that meant she was at her local dango stand. Naruto continued to run, this time deciding to go down an alley whip a right turn and then a left... then jump over 3 genins and a jounin chasing a cat that looked like it would kill them... the cat had a pink ribbon on its right ear._

_Naruto landed and kept running until he hit the dango stand... he saw Anko exiting and jumped onto her shoulder... she turned to see what was wrong and saw the horde... the horde skidded to a stop and briefly considered rushing her to beat the little Koala into the dirt. The smarter half wisely dispersed. The rest rushed Anko only to get caught and thrown halfway down the street by the crazy Tokubetsu Jounin. Then chased all over the village by snakes of various sizes_

_Anko then bopped him on the head before striding over to the Hokage's office to collect his 4 scrolls that he promised. Casually chatting about what they were going to do... well by chat... Anko talked while Naruto listened because the only things resembling words that came out of his mouth was "Meega Nala Quista" , "Chubbi Chiba", and "Patooki". Upon arriving Naruto was once again swiped by Neko and hugged until it was time to leave._

_Finally Anko told him to head to Training ground 44 while she shunshined away... 'she has got to teach me that!' Naruto thought jumping out of Neko's grasp again._

**(Kami Author Style; Flashback No Jutsu Kai!)**

So this is where we join Naruto again just having escaped his horde of fan-girls... Naruto ducked into an Alleyway and changed form again going back to the Pariah of Konoha, as he smirked and walked towards Training Ground 44. He knew in passing what the 3 Jutsu scrolls did... Kage Bunshin made solid clones that were pretty useful, which by extension that meant Kage Shuriken and Kage Kunai No Jutsu's Respectively would multiply the thrown weapons to a larger number. And judging from what the Hokage said it could be quite deadly if used correctly... he used the phrase "wall of steel" for god sake. Did that sound like a kind caring grandpa-figure?

Naruto sighed as he dodged a civilian that "Tripped" over... yeah grabbing a knife is and lunging is tripping, Naruto stuck his foot out and the civilian tumbled over landing in a heap with the knife clattering away down the street. Naruto sighed before turning around and being met with the field and then the Fence that marked the boundaries of Training Ground 44.

As soon as his foot hit the grass a Kunai flew through the air... grazing his face, cutting his cheek and letting a trickle leak out... his personal space was immediately raped violently. He ended up with a kunai at his throat while a certain crazy Kunoichi was licking the blood like it was a drug. Naruto sighed before allowing her to continue... if he struggled it would most likely get worse... which was scary considering she was already drinking his blood... what else was there?

He snapped out of these thoughts as Anko stopped licking him and had somehow relieved him of his belt... which caused his pants to fall down. He swiftly pulled them back up and grabbed his belt and put it back on. Muttering under his breath about crazy purple haired bitches. Naruto sighed before saying "can we get started now you've gotten your blood fix?" he said in a dead-pan voice as if he was being sarcastic as well mixed in.

Anko huffed lightly before tossing the Kage Bunshin scroll at him. Naruto caught it deftly and unravelled it beginning to read... as far as he could tell it was just the same as the Bunshin but with a different handseal and a shit load more Chakra. He could do that... maybe, So Naruto made the Ram Handseal and pumped about the amount of Chakra for 100 Bunshin into it... saying here goes nothing. And to see 30 Kage Bunshin pop into existence was pretty god damn satisfying.

Anko smirked and said "good going Koala-gaki, You got on the first go... that makes me think more about your Chakra reserves than your actual control... you seem to be the type to just throw as much Chakra into it and hope for the best, not that that's a bad thing... you can probably get the other 2 jutsu down just as quick quite simply because you have enough chakra that control isn't an issue, but we WILL be working on it, Along with weapon throwing, teaching you the basics of that staff-sword of yours... your going to have to name that thing by the way... and obviously training you in Taijutsu... you will be learning this "Piercing Fist" as long as my own "Snake" Style. They are complete polar opposites and thus will be useful in throwing your opponents off balance."

Naruto took in what she said before nodding and getting to work with his other 2 Jutsu... to his utter delight and horror he got in on the first go, this was the cause for his delight... the cause for his horror was the fact he had turned 1 Kunai... into 50 and ALL of them had missed there intended targets... He really needed work with Kunai, his Shuriken however was much better he managed to get 25 of the 50 to hit something... which was a plus considering all the Kunai were in the dirt while some of the shuriken were nailed in tree's, bushes and a branch or two.

Anko quickly got him up to snuff over the next 4 weeks. In the mornings he would run laps of the village, often running into these crazy guys named "Rock Lee" and "Maito Guy" both of which scared the Bujeezus out of Naruto... they wore Green Spandex, bright orange leg warmers had perfectly black bowl cuts with the fuzziest eyebrows ever devised by Kami herself. Not to mention they were constantly screaming about youth or some such thing... something about fire too not that he actually paid attention. It was more... he was doing laps then the Crazy duo would show up and run at his pace to annoy him.

Anko would then force him to do Push-ups, Sit-ups and Reflex training... and how did you do this "Reflex training" you may ask ? She threw a shit ton of Kunai, Shuriken, Senbon and Snakes at him all the while cackling and telling him how many EXTRA laps around Konoha he would have to do. She would then teach him Taijutsu through very very brutal spars. She was holding back of course but he was a fucking 8 year old. However this horrifying training method eventually paid off. Soon she stopped holding back... upon which point she creamed him into the dirt but the fact he forced her not to hold back was something he considered a win.

His staff was the best progression yet though, he had gone from being a rookie with it, to being able to slaughter over 100 of his shadow clones who were using the Piercing Fist & Hebi Styles on him. Another shock to everyone was what happened when he tried to channel Chakra into the weapon.

(-**Small Flashback No Jutsu!-)**

_Anko was sitting happily atop her giant freakin snake... again... laughing it up that he couldn't get close without getting hurt... again. She noticed Naruto getting increasingly annoyed as he got more and more pissed off. Eventually he just lost control and his sense of sanity was flung out of the window. He used Chakra in his feet to shoot forward at speeds where that Kami-damned snake couldn't do anything._

_That was when he jumped up onto the snake and swung downwards at where Anko used to be sitting. She was cut in half of course but of course being a jounin it turned into Mud and dirt... a Tsuchi Clone (Earth/Mud clone). Naruto sighed before whirling around deflecting the Kunai that was once again aimed at his cheek. He then focused some chakra into the staff to reinforce it and the results were... explosive, as from the jewel an explosion just burst from the jewel...that froze the fight as they tried to figure out what happened._

(-**Small Flashback No Jutsu!-)**

As it turned out, the jewel set in the base of the weapon was very chakra conductive resulting with several effects. The first being able to shoot out an explosion from the base of the weapon. The 2nd being able to shoot out elemental projectiles from using that form of chakra. Which Anko did due to him not knowing his chakra nature yet. And the 3rd arguable most lethal power was coating the weapon and blade in the elemental chakra, for example being coated in lightning would break through an earth based defence and shock anyone hit by it and improving its piercing potential. Wind would shred any thing that was hit by the blade and leave deep gashes, it would stop lightning type attacks. Etc.

Naruto had been trained in 2 chakra control exercises at this point, Tree-walking and Leaf Concentration. The tree-walking was quite obvious, walk up a wall or tree or some sort of vertical surface without using hands, the reason it was considered a Chakra control exercise was because it increased reserves and it granted Shinobi the ability to fight on Vertical or upside down surfaces. Leaf concentration was merely floating a leaf off your forehead and keeping it there for a solid 15 minutes before it was considered complete. He could now do it for about 35 minutes before it fell. Hey practice made perfect right ?

He was also forced to be better at throwing weapons by way of doing it right or losing his lunch. As in she would place his lunch on a log and then attempt to get it herself, if he threw one on target she would jump back and then try again, sometimes incorporating Tsuchi Bunshins into it to make it more difficult. Eventually though after several pouting spells and loss of lunch he managed to get his throwing weapons skill to an acceptable level.

During this period he had gotten plenty taller, now being just as tall as Shino if not a smidge taller, making him the tallest kid in the class, now he was also much much stronger to. His body had lost all traces of excess or baby fat from ramen or birth respectively. His hair had gotten just long enough to be considered "long" and by that it flew past his shoulders before stopping in points. His Intelligence in school related matters however had sky rocketed. Anko drilled the facts into him to the point where he could answer just about anything. After all if Anko had threatened to remove your life's blood (Ramen) from you for a solid day for each question you got wrong you'd study to.

His training with Anko under tips from the Kyuubi had turned much more flirty, Anko would start and Naruto would continue it on and so they would dance until one of them lost control of his or her blushes.

Naruto sighed before returning home... he loved this training it was fun, it was good and he got a friend out doing it. He swiftly returned home and decided to sleep, not knowing what would awake him tomorrow.

(-9 hours later-)

Naruto woke up groggily, still sleepy. He suddenly found a very fun and very very nice stress relief. Namely pounding his Alarm clock to bits before launching those bits out of his window. Naruto tried to get up... and failed falling on his face before cursing and getting to his feet. Eventually he managed to put his clothes on after having a shower of course., throwing his awesome owl night hat onto his bed he grabbed his staff and put it on, making the clasp connect so it kept the staff still while he walked. Naruto started walking around the town with not much to do, he had been told by Anko that she was going on a mission after training yesterday so it was up to him to do what ever he wanted to really.

So he decided on Ramen for breakfast... Naturally. He started his trek to Ichiraku as normal, however it was at this point that he became of away of a certain person following him...well stalking would be a better word. Naruto continued around a corner and changed into his Chibi-Koala form. He knew that she would eventually come around the corner because she was stalking him. And to his amusement he was right, she did come around the corner and who we saw was someone he hadn't expected. It was Hinata Hyuuga one of his class mates.

Hinata came from the ever so formal Hyuuga clan... the clan with a stick rammed so far up there ass it affects there intelligence. The only nice one being Hinata of course... well maybe her sister he couldn't judge after all, he hadn't met her... she might be nice right ? She'd be young enough not to have that stick up her ass... right ?

Shoving these thoughts aside he noticed she was looking at him in a very specific manner... the manner of which fan-girls looked at him... He ran like hell... well not like hell... merely quick for his age. He knew that with his stubby legs that Hinata would catch him but that's what he was planning. He wanted her to carry him around and maybe grab some insight on why the hell the young Hyuuga Heiress would be stalked him.

Eventually he started slowing down as he made a big show of being tired. Eventually he fake tripped and let her grab him. To his surprise she hugged him softly... not like the others who tried to hug the hell out of him. He eventually scrambled onto her shoulder and then she continued on her journey to stal- follow naruto.

Eventually on not being able to find him she headed to the ramen stand that naruto usually went to figuring that he never ever missed a chance for ramen, it was like the law of his life or something similar. Naruto soon got hungry and he ran off to the ramen stand that they were standing near for the last 20 minutes. Naruto jumped up onto the stools, then the counter and said "Patooki!" it meant ass but it was a good enough way to get attention, considering that nobody knew what that word meant help all the more.

His prayers were answered when Ayame came out took one look at the Koala and said "The usual ?" To which naruto nodded doing his best at laughing which came out as a sort of chibi laugh. Ayame Giggled before going into the back for a minute before She emerged with a bowl of Miso Ramen... she set it down in front of naruto and naruto dug right in... to be honest in his koala form he had more manners than he did in his human form.

Ayame sighed before going off to get another bowl, when she came back Naruto was wearing the bowl like a hat... he also had a noodle over his nose. Clearly one of the things he had trained in had not been eating in his koala form. Ayame giggled and took the noodle off his nose and hung it in front of his face. She said to him "You need to learn how to eat properly" she sighed at his response which was a shaking of his head. Eventually Hinata entered the resteraunt and giggled when she saw Naruto with a ramen bowl on his head and digging into another bowl... not that she knew it was Naruto in his koala form. Eventually she finished her own bowl and started walking around again.

They visited the academy looking for Naruto... who obviously wasn't there though they did see Kiba getting kicked between the legs by Ino. Sakura getting turned down for a date by a certain Uchiha. Some random civilian kid getting squished into a giant smear by calling Choji Fat, Naruto and Hinata then checked the Yondaime's head. It was looking Sunset at this point and Naruto and Hinata sat on the Old Hokage's head thinking about there own things.

Naruto was thinking about why the hell Hinata was stalking him like this, He had deduced this because she had gone to Ichiraku, Then The Academy and then finally the Yondaime's head. These places were where naruto would always go at some point in the day, Naruto sighed in his Koala form.

He was about to go when he heard Hinata speak with out stuttering once and saying "Where are you Naruto-kun ? Why can't I tell you how I feel ? Why can't I tell you I love you?" Hinata sighed before lying on the grass thinking about several things mostly about her father and her sister... her cousin made an appearance every once in a while.

Naruto however was paralysed by shock, he had never really understood while Hinata had turned bright red around him, Nor had he understood why she fainted either. But now with this stunning declaration it was all explained...

To say he didn't know what to do was an understatement, Naruto's brain was going 100 miles a minute, thinking up idea's of what to do and disregarding them before thinking of a better one. Eventually he came to a solid idea. He would compare both the girls and see which would be a better choice to date.

Sakura... she had a hell of a temper and was rather loud and violent, She had bright pink hair and red clothing... not befitting a ninja at all. She was a fan-girl at its purest and holiest. The Object of her affection being the Duck-ass Emo King Uchiha Sasuke. She was smart of course but that was the only part of being a Shinobi that she actually had an advantage in, Her Genjutsu was non existent, her Taijutsu was horrible because of the academy style and Ninjutsu she only had the basic 3. Henge, Kawarimi and Bunshin.

Hinata... She was quiet, she always thought of others before herself, she rarely if ever lost her temper and hit someone. She didn't want to fight much she preferred to defend others, she didn't like to cause other people pain. She didn't really have any fan-girly tendencies apart from his koala form that seems to have taken Konoha by storm. Her Taijutsu makes her the best in the class, being a proper clan style that she is proficient in. Her genjutsu is non-existant but because of her Byakugan it would be rendered useless regardless. Ninjutsu was similar but that was because the Hyuuga's only tended to learn Ninjutsu that belonged to the clan. It wasn't forbidden in any meaning but it was frowned upon.


	4. Massacre's And Thieving Koala's

**Amaterasu-Black Flame; Thank you for your comment and it may just be a Naru X Kurenai story... I dont wanna make it a harem because there too cliché but at the same time I dont see it working otherwise... unless naruto becomes a douche... meh i'll think it over.**

**Ragnarok Warrior; thank you for your actual criticism. 1st off I will try to improve the grammar. No there will not be bashing. I admit there are characters I don't like and sometimes my writing will reflect this. BUT the same could be said for characters im not too familiar writing. The Strength thing will be put on hold for at least pass the Zabuza arc. He may win some fights he shouldn't but that will hopefully due to circumstance. **

**Also Soulhope The Wolf – I think that the extra arms will pop out when he's angry though he may learn to do it at will later.**

**Okay now that im done pandering to the reviewers that have merit (As in have something to ask) **

**Chapter 4 Start**

Naruto looked over the village as the sun was setting. It caused the village to look absolutely radiant. It looked beautiful, he was perfectly happy to watch the sunset when he noticed that his Hyuuga stalker had decided that she was coming home with him... of all the rotten luck. Hinata had picked him up and put him on her shoulder. She noted that it didn't seem particularly comfortable but at the same time it seemed... thoughtful.

Hinata sighed as she walked thinking about what she had said in front of the chibi-koala she could say it in front of an animal but not the man himself ? She was weak... she was snapped from her depressive thoughts as the Koala poked her in the cheek frowning at her as if it could tell her what she was thinking, mostly because it could!

Naruto watched her little depression and though he was no mind expert he knew for a fact that she was probably thinking something along the lines of "Im weak" and something along those lines. Naruto for one hated it when people gave up like things like this. He prodded her again until she started giggling at him.

Naruto gave her his best hug at his size which effectively equated to him wrapping his arms around her temple. She giggled more before walking around with a small on her face. It was almost time for her to go home so she decided to head home early. Hinata walked confidently home as if the little Koala was a confidence booster. As Hinata started around the corner she noticed her father standing in front of the compound.

Normally she would have been intimidated by the man but she had to be strong... or she'd get poked in the cheek again by the Koala. So with this frame in mind she walked past her father as he was doing his thing speaking with some visiting dignitary or some such thing. Hinata walked past him, the guards and straight down to her room to get cleaned up and probably go to sleep.

That was the plan anyway before she was confronted by her cousin Neji who said arrogantly "Failure" in disgust as he attempted to walk past. Attempted being to the Koala punching him in the shoulder as he walked past sending Neji tumbling to the floor... he wasn't staggered by the blow it was more that the Chibi koala had actually struck him... was pretty hard shot to.

Saying nothing of his embarrassment he merely said "Lady Hinata-sama" before walking away none to slowly. Hinata walked dignified to her room before breaking down in a fit of giggles. She had never intended for her little confidence booster to knock Neji over. That was just all the more reason for her to keep him right? Hinata was about to get undressed when a knock at the door caught her attention she merely said "Come in"

Her father entered the room in that oh so Arrogant Hyuuga posture and said "Hinata you seem... more confident of yourself as of your return... and why is there a koala on your shoulder?" in a tone that seemed fatherly but wanted answers.

Hinata replied with "I am Weak Father. .Change." she said with a tone as if she was daring him to dispute the fact. She then continued "It took this little guy to make me realise this" she looked towards him before returning her gaze upon her father to see him smiling... well almost but it was better than nothing.

Hiashi merely nodded before exiting the room completely and utterly baffled... Hinata... the failure had left this morning a stuttering fool as usual and then she comes back at the end of the day with a Koala and suddenly she's gotten over her stutter, she seemed as if she was daring him to say anything against her becoming stronger and it was pretty god damn clear she was going to step up and play the part now.

Hiashi shoved these thoughts away, if it took a bright blue koala to make Hinata into a suitable heir to the Hyuuga clan then it would have to do. However something had been bothering Hiashi for a while. The Kumo dignitaries had been to visit today, they had visited all of the major clans including the Uchiha but they hadn't spent the entire day walking around there compounds. It tipped him off that something was happening.

**Meanwhile Across Town at an Undisclosed Location**

Itachi stared at the 4 elders gathered before him in as close as an ANBU could get to shock... this was big... they had just ordered him to kill most of his clan... it had to be done by tonight and all of the traitors must die, that included his father and his best friend. He had to make a choice now, which was the better choice ? The Good of the Uchiha Clan or the good of the entire village? For an average Uchiha the choice would be obvious but Itachi was special and the elders knew it.

Itachi sighed... he was pushed into a corner here and he had to do this or his entire clan could be killed instead of the majority... it was a fine-line but it was a necessary sacrifice. If he had to leave this village and throw away his allegiance to the village so that his clan could survive uncrippled he would have to do so.

Itachi said "For the sake of my clan and this village I will do this." He hardly hid the venom in his voice from the elders and 3 of 4 elders flinched at it. He glared at them in open disgust before disappearing in a shunshin to think about what he has to do. He sighed before heading to a bridge he always went to when he had to think...

**Elsewhere**

The water rippled as he rested on the bridge peering into the pond. Itachi knew that he had to do this, and was steeling himself for the deed. He would have to cut all ties with the leaf village, his family, his friends... what few there were. Itachi was brought out of these thoughts by the sound of a whistling kunai approaching. Ducking under the kunai and whirled to find... Shun shin No Shisui... or Shisui of the body flicker. His best friend... almost a brother... sent to be his executioner.

Itachi whipped out 2 kunai before charging without any hint of hesitation. This threw Shisui off for a split second before they clashed, Kunai grinding against each other for dominance. Shisui said "Traitor Itachi. You are scum to defy the elder council how could you? You were the archetype of the perfect Uchiha. You were the prodigy, the genius. You were everything the Uchiha aspired to be and yet you throw it all away? Why ?"

"Because our clan has grown old, corrupt, complacent. And most of all ARROGANT and it disgusts me Shisui. Decades ago this wouldn't have even been a problem, but because of the clans arrogance and attitude this step has to be taken. I do not want to do this Shisui but for the sake of the clan and this village I must." With that Itachi side stepped, dropping a kunai from the match of strength and attempted to impale him in the gut with it. Not that Shisui had fallen for it and used the move he was famous for. Shunshining on the opposite side of the river. Itachi raced towards him throwing a few kunai at him for good measure.

Flashy Jutsu and loud climactic battles were for dead men and loud obnoxious men. Itachi was neither, he was a trained ruthless killer. He would kill before his opponent got there Jutsu off and would pleased with himself, Most would attribute this to being overly cold or cruel. He was neither, he merely knew that it was either killing one man for the good of the many or die painfully and suffer the pain of failure afterwards.

As they clashed again Shisui and Itachi activated their Sharingans at the same time, the problem was for Shisui that he relied on it. Itachi used it when he was in a pinch or he really needed it, they broke apart before Itachi dissolved into crows and attacked Shisui. Shisui managing to get out of the Genjutsu just before he was impaled dodged to the side, however the cut managed to get his arm.

Itachi didn't let up. He continued to attack Shisui until he dropped, steel clashed against steel for what felt like an eternity before Shisui kicked Itachi hard in the chest, not before getting a cut on his leg in response. Itachi skid along the water not even winded from the blow, Shisui looked like crap on the other hand however.

Itachi said to Shisui "You can't win my friend, you are strong but I have to kill you and the clan it is not something I do lightly. I am sorry" Itachi moved before Shisui could run and impaled him in the heart and liver with his twin Kunai. Shisui fell soundlessly, Itachi however gripped his head in pain his eyes burnt. He stood there for what felt like minutes in pain, not allowing the pain to get the better of him.

When Itachi released his head he looked down and to his utter surprise, shock and happiness he had unlocked the Mangekyo Sharingan the next level of Sharingan, it offered 3 extremely powerful abilities... abilities that would help with his mission all the more. Itachi was about to move when he felt something... off. He couldn't place his finger on it but instinctively he jumped to the side to dodge a fireball.

Looking back at the body he noticed it dissolving into water... a Mizu Bunshin. Itachi dodged another fireball before drawing his ANBU Katana this would be Shisui's last battle if it killed him. Itachi dodged several more fireball's before he reached the injured Shisui and impaled him straight through the liver.

Not taking chance's Itachi then removed his arms and watched in somewhat satisfaction as the body slowly slumped to the floor in blood. Itachi sighed before muttering "**Katon; ****Gōkakyū no Jutsu" ** He emotionless watched as the body burned the body of his former best friend. Itachi sighed... despite his emotionless façade Itachi felt a pang of regret for taking the life of someone so close to him.

Itachi sighed before shunshining away from the ashes that used to be his best friend. Tonight was going to be a long fucking night.

**The Uchiha Compound**

Itachi walked quietly through the compound, slaying any one who had a hand in the coup attempt, He sidestepped and slashed the throat of one of the Uchiha Military police members. The one's who were innocent he knocked out with Genjutsu or otherwise. The Clan's performance was truly a testament to how much they had fallen. As soon as they had seem him killing there fellow members they activated the Sharingan, not even bothering to fight on there own skill.

Itachi cut down the last of the squad before sighing all this did was reaffirm the fact that his clan needed to die. He continued walking down the main hall of the compound dealing out dead and Knock outs as he went easily. He hit his own home and entered solemnly. He was to start with his family then proceed with the rest of the Uchiha clan council. Itachi walked into his parents room and before anything could be said he slashed Fugaku Uchiha from both shoulders to hips forming an X scar on his chest before walking towards his mother emotionless as he looked at her.

Itachi's mother was terrified... and rightly so, the clan prodigy was slaughtering them all and for no knowable reason. She lunged with a kunai only to get knocked aside and hit in the face with the hilt of his sword. Itachi spoke for the first time since he ever entered the compound "I'm sorry Ka-san"

before pinching a nerve cluster at her Neck and she slumped to the ground before Itachi moved on.

He walked out of his home before proceeding along slaying more and more of his Uchiha Brethren. Itachi was quickly surrounded by a squad of U.M.P they wordlessly attacked Itachi to slay him. Itachi slew them before they even hit him, 3 of them lived, they were Kunoichi who had opted against the plan. He had trapped them in a Genjutsu while he knocked them out, He moved on regardless.

He hit the Uchiha council room and walked in casually as if nothing was amiss. The Council were prepared for him though, they had immediately launched several fireball's at him as soon as he entered, 3 using the Gokakyu No Jutsu while the other used Hosenka No Jutsu. Itachi wordlessly dodged smirking... at least the fossils knew what was up and could fight back. Itachi blurred through handseals him self before saying "**Katon; Karyu Endan"** as he spat 2 fire dragons both being enough to take up half the room.

The first was dodged by all but one of the council members who was disintegrated instantly. The second claimed two more as they couldn't dodge it. The Last council member dropped to his knee's in resignation, he knew he was going to die. He knew there was nothing that could be done about it. And most of all, he knew that he should never have gone against the Hokage. That was his last thought as his head fell from his body via the blade of the Uchiha prodigy.

Itachi Ascended to the roof of the Uchiha compound and found someone waiting for him. It was his wife-to-be Yumi... he sighed at the sight of her, he knew she would try to fight him. And he knew she would lose. But she wouldn't back down it wasn't in her nature... that was why Itachi loved her... With Nary a sound they clashed blades meeting blades. They both hopped back tossing shuriken, which were dodged in almost perfect synchronization.

Yumi was quite the looker to the Uchiha Prodigy, she had Raven coloured shoulder length hair and blue eyes that were currently fixing Itachi with an Icy stare. She was wearing combat wraps around her hands and legs, she was wearing black shinobi sandals and Anbu style black pants. She wore a black shirt with the traditional Konoha spiral on it, along with her Jounin Jacket.

Itachi rushed forwards to use Taijutsu it was her weakest area after all. Yumi had instinctively launched several Jutsu at this, 3 Fireballs which Itachi Jumped over only to get peppered almost machinegun-like by Katon Hosenka's. Itachi's body disappeared changing into a Log... remains of a Kawarimi. Itachi spoke "**Katon: Hōsenka Tsumabeni" ** throwing shuriken with one hand and coating them with fire with the other.

Yumi dodged the flames to be kicked in the chest flying back and skidding along the roof. Itachi could have attacked but he stopped himself from doing so, He waited for her to get back up and to his surprise she didn't... He wordlessly approached her and checked her over and to his surprise she lashed at out at his face. She was Faking! That was about all he got before he was dodging more and more attacks.

She matched Itachi's gaze for a split second and that was all Itachi Needed "**Tsukuyomi"** they were both then transported into the realm of Tsukuyomi, where everything picked up a red-ish tint, even the moon in the sky. Yumi was chained to a cross crucified, she didn't look particularly scared about what was about to happen.

"Itachi... you've finally awakened the Mangekyo haven't you?" Yumi spoke finally not having spoke since the battle began. Itachi merely nodded at the question, Itachi didn't know what to do about Yumi he could take her with him... but he would have to find a way to explain it without making himself seem like a liar...

"Yumi" Itachi said watching her raise an eyebrow he continued "What if I were to tell you that the Uchiha were planning a Coup and to kill and overthrow the council and Hokage?"

Yumi smirked before saying "Your lies wont get you anywhere weasel"

Itachi raised an eyebrow before waving his arm and bringing up a screen that started rolling his general memories. It started with the meeting where they ordered him to kill his clan, then flee the village to be marked as an S-ranked missing Nin. Itachi looked sad all the time through out as he watched his memories unfold.

Yumi was horrified... the council... were planning on betraying Konoha? The Hokage and elders had ordered the obliteration of the clan? They did it all ? Yumi did what was natural to anyone. She broke down sobbing before it developed into full blown crying. She didn't even notice as They left the Genjutsu.

Itachi wordlessly hugged her, offering emotional support which she clearly needed. At this point Yumi had hugged him back and was just crying. Itachi wordlessly Pinched a cluster of nerves at the bottom of her neck to knock her unconscious while he did the deed. He left her there and proceeded with his duty.

It didn't take that long after all the Uchiha heavy hitters were himself, Shisui, Yumi and the Police force which had been thoroughly destroyed. Itachi ended up sparing Yumi, Sasuke and his mother. The rest were in line with the councils plan. Itachi did a thorough sweep of the area, burning the bodies to prevent any grave robbers.

After he destroyed the bodies he grabbed Yumi and proceeded to head out of the Uchiha district, The Hokage's ANBU hadn't been there at that point in time so it was relatively easy to escape without getting caught. Itachi had awakened Yumi with some smelling salts before asking if she was okay, she nodded an Affirmative before they made towards the gate.

They didn't run like the criminals one of them was, they walked casually and peacefully hand in hand as they turned the corner after corner, passing street after street. Itachi doing his best not to vomit at the atrocity he had just committed... and all for the council. Itachi was holding up well for the moment... though he knew he had to disappear and do it by the morning. Yumi was doing her best not to brake down her self. She had to wait until they were long gone from Konoha before she could do that.

They finally reached the gate of Konoha those proud arches stood tall in the face of adversity, war and poverty regardless. They simply strode out of the village, the 2 gate guards had been placed under a genjutsu while the ANBU had been sent into a death like state from a senbon needle.

Itachi and Yumi broke out into a sprint after they had escaped from Konoha's walls they travelled half way to the borders of fire country before they had their respective brake downs.

**(-A Month Later-)**

**(Early Morning)**

Naruto woke up to see himself in Hinata's room and being squished by said Hyuuga heiress...again. He made a shadow clone and Kawarimied with it, it smirked waving its hand while Naruto climbed out of the window to sweet freedom... and robbing everywhere blind of course. But freedom was the majority of it.

So after "persuading" a nice old shopkeeper to part with some bread naruto was walking down the street with out a care in the world, besides eating his bread that is. Naruto heard a cry of "Stop Thief!" and took this as his hint to get the hell out of there while he still had his bread.

He started Koala sprinting (yes thats what im calling it D:) along laughing while waving his half eaten loaf of bread over his head. Naruto dodged a broom stick swing before speeding up a bit, he jumped over several more before cursing his stumpy little legs.

He ducked into another store and hid in the clothe racks. The enraged shop keeper ran around the clothing store trying to find where he was... not that he found him at all. Naruto laughed before stealing the entire cash register and ran off with it down the street, waving it over his head to.

Several Boozehounds that day swore off the stuff for ever.

Soon naruto was being chased... mainly for people trying to retrieve things he had stolen... which was equal to; a half eaten loaf of bread, a cash register, the Hokages hat, the Nidaimes Raijin, a human heart... somehow. And a bowl of ramen... that he was eating and dunking his bread into.

Naruto cackled as he saw some shinobi join the chase as naruto was juggling everything apart from his ramen. He ate the entire loaf with one bite before drinking his ramen and launching the ramen bowl half way across Konoha as he continued to run while juggling the varying items of importance.

Naruto laughed screaming "MEEGA NALA QUISTA" before launching the register back into the crowd chasing him and causing several to go head over ass in the air. Laughing harder he kept on running. Naruto soon began using the Hokage's hat as a bucket for the Raijin and the Human heart. He soon grabbed a puppy too and threw them into the hat causing a very very angry Kiba to join the chase.

Naruto then shouted "CHUBBI CHIBA KIBA-TEME" which caused several angry growls before he replied "LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS YOU KOALA-TEME"

Naruto then dropped a Naruto sized smoke bomb before disappearing and dropping all but 2 of the items. He was wearing the Hokage's hat and had the Raijin stuck up one of his nostrils... his left one to be precise.

Naruto launched the Raijin and the Hokage's hat through the window of the Hokage tower as he ran past. Transforming mid sprint he kept running the Academy in sight. Naruto eventually got past the gates and into his class room, which was mostly full. He quickly set up a booby trap, that being a trip wire and then a pie above them attached to the ceiling that would fall when someone tripped the wire.

Satisfied he took in his surroundings and mentally checked people off;

Yamanaka Ino, Ino is a girl of average height with green eyes (blue in the anime). Her most noticeable trait in her appearance is her long, blonde hair, which is always seen in a high-ponytail with bangs covering the right side of her face. she wore a short purple vest like blouse with a raised collar, a skirt that was cut off on the sides and bandage on her stomach and legs. She also wore purple and white elbow warmers with this. She also the Uchiha's 2nd biggest fan girl... though she does actually do ninja stuff.

Haruno Sucku-Sakura, Sakura has bright pink hair, large green eyes, and fair skin Sakura wore a red Cheongsam dress with white circular designs, with or without short sleeves, with a zipper, tight dark green shorts . She was also the Uchiha's biggest fan girl and she is completely and utterly useless in a combat situation.

Hyuuga Hinata, her hair is in a short, levelled hime-cut style just above her forehead, with chin-length strands framing her face. She wore a cream-coloured hooded-jacket with a fire symbol on the upper right and left sleeves and fur around the cuffs and hem, with navy blue pants. Hinata has dark blue hair, fair skin; traits she inherited from her .mother She also has the customary white eyes of her clan, which have a tinge of lavender in them.

Uchiha Sasuke, Sasuke is a ninja who has onyx eyes and black chin-length hair. His hair is spiky in the back with bangs that hang above his eyes. Sasuke's clothing consisted of the traditional Uchiha clothing: a blue, short-sleeved shirt with a high collar and the Uchiha crest on the back and white arm warmers along with white shorts.

Aburame Shino, Shino is a fair-skinned ninja and the tallest member of his graduating class. He has dark bushy brown hair and dark, narrow eyes, the latter of which has only been shown in the anime. Shino is regularly seen sporting the same style as the rest of his clan, consisting of dark sunglasses and a sea-green jacket with a high, upturned collar.

Nara Shikamaru, Shikamaru is regularly seen with a lazy or irritated expression. He has fairly long jet black hair tied in a spiky ponytail, narrow brown eyes. his clothing is rather plain, consisting of a green lined mesh T-shirt under a short sleeved grey jacket with green edges, adorned on both the sleeves and the back with a circle with a line through it.

Akamichi Choji, Chōji wore brown shorts, a long white scarf, a short-sleeved green jacket over a white shirt with his clan's obligatory kanji for "food" on it, small, hoop earrings, and his legs and forearms were wrapped in bandages. He also wears a pair of underpants on his head with two tufts of hair sticking out. He also never seen not eating.

Sai... Just Sai, his outfit consisted of a high-collared midriff shirt, black pants, shinobi sandals and gloves with his index and thumb fingers exposed, most likely to facilitate the use of his drawing based techniques. Sai has short, black hair, black eyes which contrasts with his very pale skin. He is usually seen carrying a small backpack with his brush, scrolls, and ninja ink in it. He Also carries a tip less tanto.

So everybody apart from Kiba was currently in the class room, they were going over the hidden villages... again, Kirigakure, Konohagakure, Sunagakure, Iwagakure and Kumogakure. They were the 5 great shinobi villages. They were located all over the elemental nations, Konoha being in Hi No Kuni (Fire country).

Everyone was paying attention then "WHAM" as a door opened with the amount of force to break the door stopper. Kiba strode in clearly not in a pleasant mood which was about to get steadily worse. Kiba having entered the class room triggered a very specific wire, which caused Kiba to fall on his face, when he rolled over he was greeted by a cream pie to the face. Kiba started having a rage induced fit as Akamaru was licking the pie up clearly enjoying his impromptu meal. Kiba started swearing and cursing and rolling around on the floor in rage while Sai decided to handle this delicately.

He stood up.

He Cleared his throat.

He rubbed his palms together.

He then Said "Dickless Mutt get in your seat and be quiet"

There was silence in the classroom, even Kiba had stopped as his puny brain started to figure out what he had just been called. Then he exploded jumping across the room and trying to beat the ever looking crap out of the Pale-faced weirdo... not that he got anywhere with trying to do so.

Kiba instantly got a Tanto at his neck freezing him in place, Sai merely said "Dickless Mutt, it is also smart not to attack people who are stronger than you" Kiba's eye was twitching. Kiba then shouted in his face... tanto still at his neck be damned "AND WHO THE HELL IN THIS ROOM IS STRONGER THAN ME?"

Sai merely pointed to Sasuke he was graced with "Hn" in response. He pointed at himself, Then Shino who nodded before focusing on the teacher. Then Sai did the unthinkable he pointed at Naruto who smirked and nodded. Kiba hit the roof "HOW THE HELL IS THE DOBE STRONGER THAN ME?"

"Simple. You have been fighting him with his mask on" Sai said before seeing their baffled expressions Sai Explained "He hasn't been showing his true strength. You may not notice because you fawn all over the Uchiha, Dont care enough to pay attention or are just to plain stupid to see it but he's hiding himself."

"Don't let me tell them myself or anything Sai you know clearly not part of a plan of some kind" Naruto muttered nonchalantly, quietly but loud enough for most of the class to hear it. Naruto was counting down on his fingers. 3... 2... 1... the class room erupted into laughter, denial, demands of him to show his true self and various other things. Naruto merely raised an eyebrow before ignoring them.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the Emo-king of the pixies himself. "Fight me dobe! I want to see this "Real" you"

"No" Naruto replied.

"Why not ? Scared?" The Pixie king taunted. Not even aware of the gap between Naruto's strength and his own.

"Of course not... why would I be scared of a sad pathetic emo-brooder that sits in the corner of the room brooding about various violent ways to kill his brother and gets everything he wants on a platter" Naruto said before going back to his thinking position. The Pixie kings face was volcanic. If looks could kill, The pixie king would have killed naruto a thousand times over.

"Dobe. Fight. Me. Now." He said through gritted teeth trying his damnedest not to attack the dobe and teach him his place.

"Fine, If I win you don't bother me to fight again, Ever." Naruto said wearily... tired already of the fighting.

The Pixie king merely nodded before both headed to the sparring field, class and by extension Iruka and Mizuki following. As they took up positions in the ring Iruka said "Uchiha Sasuke vs Uzumaki Naruto, Hajime!" (Means go).

Naruto lazily slid into his Piercing Fist Style earning a widening of eyes from a certain heiress.

Sasuke ran straight at the Dobe not even bothering to plan... who needed to plan against the dead last ?

This method of thinking quickly got a very very bruised Uchiha as the Uchiha's body got pierced by the chakra thrusts. The Uchiha flew backwards onto his ass and sliding for a bit before jumping back onto his feet and running straight at the blonde boy. Naruto lazily sidestepped and dodged various punches, kicks and the occasional head butt.

Naruto quickly thrust 4 times into the Uchiha's stomach, one at the gut, one at the intestines, one at the lungs and one at the windpipe... effectively ending the match and knocking the Uchiha unconscious.

"Pathetic" Naruto said before walking back to the classroom, despite the enraged crys and screeches of the fan girls and the banshee.


	5. Sorry Guys! (Don't Hurt me!)

**Hey Guys, Sorry this isn't a chapter but there is good news on the Horizon. After many many subtle and not-so-subtle hints, threats, bribes and much blackmailing. My friend, "Crofty666" whose name is "Liam" by the way has gotten me to start making a Re-write of this. At first I was rather wary of making another Story about this however after reading the reviews the original got and how supportive you guys were I've decided to give it another go. **

**Now it'll probably be out a little later in the year but it's definitely in the works, And im considering giving my other stories a boot to the ass (Re-write) as well depending on the reviews I was given. So While im in the process of thinking about stuff (Mah brain doesn't like thinking!...unless women are involved). I'll be accepting PM's about any Idea's you have for the story given that I can;**

**Make them fit well into the Story**

**Like the sound of the Idea and Finally**

**If its utterly off its rocker! (Keep in mind guys this is a Naruto x Stitch Crossover how many stories have you read about that? By that I mean Naruto becoming stitch)**

**So yeah, Sorry guys about this not being a chapter but hey at least you can forward your Idea's now right?**

**(dies under the weight of PM's) **

**Yeah ignore that last line.**

**- Zevvy (Totally Not Kakashi in Disguise!)**


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